The idea probably came to me about 4 years ago to do something daring, different, difficult. To test myself against nature and my own limitations. It was born on the heels of a very difficult time and has morphed into something very different since. Part of the initial reasoning was to also bring awareness to environmental issues, which I still intent to do. But the bigger reason for going has emerged as a way to find balance, find peace. I started collecting aluminum cans in order to help pay for the trip shortly after the idea was born. I knew it was silly to compete with homeless people for resources (which of course I generally won because I could run faster). I found it incredibly soothing to improve the environment wherever I go by removing debris, all the while saving some money for the trip. I had all the money in an envelope and labeled nicely, but unfortunately about a year and a half ago, I ran out of money completely and used it to pay bills. So I have to guess at the total I collected from the cans, but I think it was around $1,100. It will help. I've had girlfriends scramble down steep embankments, my daughters diving into lakes, jumping over fences along freeways, all in an effort to collect those cans.
The starting date for my trip has been a moving target and stands at June 27th , from Fremont, CA, heading east. I am ill-prepared for this trip, as I did not take enough time to train, ran out of money and of time. Still, I feel prepared mentally, facing the adventure with a calm resiliency.
I fear with ascending levels the following:
-Difficulty sleeping, leading to decreased performance
I am optimistic about:
-Channeling the resiliency I have shown through a very hard 5 years into the loving core
that I have
-Beating my ego
I will miss my daughters, my friends (except my gay friend Yan), my bed, predictability. I expect the trip to take about 3 months. I will plan the final route as I go, for the peace of the journey will show me directions I cannot see right now.
Failure is not an option, as defined in failure to stop if it gets to be too difficult or too dangerous.